Spiritual Sensitivity and Gifted Children

Note from Dr. Dan Peters: This week we have a guest columnist, my colleague Dr. Paula Wilkes, to discuss the spiritually sensitive child.

Does your child have profound empathy to the point that he cries when he senses the pain of another person or other living things

Does your child talk about feeling uncomfortable around people who make her feel “creepy?” On the other hand, does your child sense that some people have a nurturing and inviting energy?

Does your child have insights that make him seem like an “old soul?”

Does your child sometimes feel like an “odd duckling” who doesn’t fit with her peers because of the depth of her feelings and reactions?

Does your child feel alive and joyful when out in nature, as though he can feel the wondrous energy of the plants and animals?

Does your child feel overwhelmed by sights, sounds, textures, and smells?

All of the above are signs of a spiritually sensitive child.

What is meant by spiritual sensitivity? According to Judith Blackstone, in her book Belonging Here, spiritually sensitive adults and children have these traits in common:

· Profound empathy and exceptional emotional depth

· Visionary insight; ability to see the truth of situations

· A gift for healing

· May feel alienated from the world around them

One of the major challenges faced by spiritually sensitive children is that parents and teachers often misidentify the sensitivities of these children as weaknesses and defects, and I am working to change this mindset. I am interested in teaching spiritually sensitive children and adults to harness and use their personal energy to self-soothe and modulate their sensitivities so that they won’t turn to drugs, cutting, or eating disorders as their way of managing intensities they don't understand. Some spiritually sensitive children and adults end up with depression, anxiety, and autoimmune issues from the stress of living with sensitivities they don’t understand and can’t contain. These sensitivities can lead to loneliness and self-doubt, and for this reason, we need to nourish the minds, hearts, and bodies of these exquisitely sensitive people and help them develop their gifts while diminishing the challenges.

A suggestion to parents: You are the most powerful model in the life of your child. Spiritually sensitive children need to see you focused on your own mindfulness and self-awareness. Give yourself the time and space to create your own spa moment, even if it’s just taking a luxurious breath when you are stuck in traffic. Noted Buddhist teacher Thich Nhat Hahn talks about a sector of monks who hear a bell and use it as a reminder to take a breath and be in the moment. He encourages us that when our phone rings, it should serve as a reminder to take a breath and be in the now. Provide your child opportunities to practice mindfulness, to engage in energy healing work such as qi gong, and to spend time out in nature. Most of all, refrain from telling your child he is “too sensitive,” or she is “over-reacting.” These children feel deeply, and they may even be “emotional wicks” for the family, which means they need support rather than criticism.

Many of us who are spiritually sensitive do not feel safe in this world with all the chemicals, aggressive people, and over-bearing sights and sounds. It is a nice reminder that by building up our minds, hearts, and bodies (our personal energy), even a spiritually sensitive person can feel safe in, and have a positive impact on, this world.

About the author: The Summit Center's Dr. Paula Wilkes works with gifted children and adults on issues related to spiritual sensitivity. She is interested in helping spiritually sensitive people build on the potential of this sensitivity and diminish the challenges. Dr. Wilkes is available for face-to-face consultations in the Los Angeles area, and by Skype internationally. Call 925.939.7500 or email info@summitcenter.us for more information.